vote or die, or, vote and die

say what you want about the iraqi election, but those who are brave enough to do so are nothing short of heroic. fingers crossed.

khmer kulture

as i was leaving cambodia, i've realized that more should be said about its people. in short, they're amazing. they're so warm and friendly despite years of bloodshed, oppression, and terror. even in the relatively shocking border crossing incident we were directed where to go by the locals.

many are trying to learn english. my motorcycle guide kept asking me how to spell words. one night when i couldn't sleep i helped the night receptionist work on his english homework.

being the dumb american that i am, i didn't realize just how much of the vietnam war was fought in cambodia itself. many landmines are still left from the vietnam war, the pol pot regime, and the khmer rouge. they are tough conditions to live in, their consciousness must be scarred. but they keep smiling right through it.

holiday in cambodia

so, i book this bus ride from the east coast of thailand to siem riep, cambodia. that was my first mistake. it was a lot of money ($25). they say that you will get to siem riep by 5pm. those people lie. we got to the border ok if not a bit late, then you have to transfer busses across the border.

as we entered no-mans-land: blind people, children, and cripples (from landmines evidently) are begging for money - its a tough sight, and if i had any doubt that cambodia is a third world country it was now gone. we were told a story by the visa officials that we pissed off our bus ride by being late. the only thing we could do was catch another bus (and thereby pay more money). There is no way to tell if we had been scammed or not, but we negotiated the last bus out of town for $10 each (also a lot of money around here).

the bus ride was horrible. imagine a steel crate on wheels with uncomfortable seats and windows and doors that rattle. it hardly worked but that wasn't the biggest problem. there are only dirt roads in cambodia (at least from the border to where we were going). the first 15 minutes were an assault on the senses. i asked how long the ride was. 9 hours. christ. so we bumped and rolled and slammed our way to siem reap - the bus bounced and rattled and was hot and dusty. it was so tiring, but falling asleep wasn't an option - if you fell asleep with your head on your right shoulder, sooner than later the bus would hit a bump, sending your head smashing into the window on your left. that's bumpy.

sleeping was a bad idea regardless of the pain it inflicted - there was much to see. we careened (sometimes dangerously so) through very very poor villages. most shacks are built on minefields here and there are signs everywhere warning of it. it was good for me to see the way these people live - the extreme poverty of it all. the dangerous situation. the dust from the roads coating the shacks in which they live and probably their lungs. there was so so much dust. but despite this, their spirits were very high. everytime the bus rolled through, children (and some adults) waved with big smiles on their faces. they knew were were bringing money to their country, and money is desperately what they need.

still, parts of the ride were beautiful and i'm glad i did it. the big red sun setting and the burning rice fields were surreal and reminded me of scenes from baraka. we arrived at 11pm and this proves how crafty these people are - they know you're tired, and so they drive you to their guesthouse and since they have beds and a shower (which is all i wanted at that point) and you can't even think about using your spine to walk away you say "i'll take it."

after a 24-hour battle with food poisoning, scott and i visited the many temples of the angkor wat area. these are absolutely amazing and defy description. i'm sure you've seen pictures (and you could see mine if these computers had a USB port), especially of Ta Prohm, with banyan trees growing on the ruins. monks, wrapped in saffron-robes leap from the grey scenes of the ruins. their smiles beaming, welcoming. its majestic, its awe-inspiring, and i feel blessed to have been here to experience it. it was worth it. more than worth it.

scotty leaves soon, so we're headed to chiang mai on friday (by airplane, thank god) to squeeze in a little more thailand.

the victim

by saul bellow. beautiful urban fiction that, although difficult to read on a tropical beach, really portrays the ebb and flow of living in new york city by means of interlacing environment and the bizarre social scene it cultivates. the main character really pissed me off and i think that gives credence to bellow's ability. i'll have to try more, maybe in an urban setting. time for another mai tai.

koh chang

the biggest island in the gulf of thailand is koh chang. its on the east coast near cambodia. scott and i met a bunch of folks on the water taxi trip from the mainland. francois and jo (from england), jaime (from canada), and ernest (from holland). after checking out the fairly disgusting tourist mecca of white sands beach (why must german men wear bikini bottoms?), we decided to travel further south to the backpacker area of lonely beach.

apparently lonely beach used to be just that, unpopulated. however, in the last 5 years and still today, tons of development has been going on. we decided to stay at this guesthouse called "the treehouse" which has simple, rustic, thatched-roof bungalows for 250 B ($6/night). the treehouse has a huge deck that is built over the water as well as many hammock under a thatched roof - perfect for reading in the shade. the food is excellent and a bargain - the museli with local fruit is amazing.

there's a beach down the way, coconut trees to climb, and some decent scuba diving. we've spent 5 days here, but could spend many more. they have big, loud parties every night which i'm not so keen on. maybe i'm getting old. i think i'll be back though.

we're off to cambodia tomorrow, to see angkor wat. one of the 7 wonders of the world.

stay tuned for pictures, i'm waiting to find a computer that doesn't shock me when i touch it.

bangkok

i arrived in bangkok at 1 in the morning. i was told that a good, cheap place to stay is khosan road so i jumped in a cab and arrived around 2am. khosan road apparently is a huge backpacker area and when i arrived the main street was open to pedestrian traffic only so i walked up and down looking for a place to crash. people were super drunk on the street at this point and navigating drunk backpackers and scamming tuk-tuk drivers was a bit harsh - after 17 hours on a plane i just wanted to get horizontal.

i took the first thing i found which ended up being an expensive (i.e., $15) room with its own shower and toilet. the next day i found a cheaper place (i.e. $2) that was pretty much just a bed in a room with the toilets down the hall.

i met my uncle's friend joe for lunch and he taught me the ropes a bit. how to say thank you correctly, and how to navigate the city the cheapest easiest way.

bangkok traffic is insane. it is literally gridlock all the time. using a combination of tuk-tuks (little 3 wheel carts), the sky train, and water taxis (not to mention good ol foot power) its not hard to get around.

i picked up scott from the airport and we hung out in bangkok for a few days, visiting wats and buddhas. the climactic point came on my birthday in bangkok. scott and i met some english folks that were really a great time. they were hammered and so were we. one had a little girl who was 8. she was really into eating the bugs that they sell on the street. they're typically a collection of larvae, grasshoppers, locusts, grubs, and frogs all friend up and salted with sauce. she and i would dare each other to eat one until the whole bag was gone.



that said, the food here is really really good, although it hasn't been as hot as i'd like it. i think they mellow it out cause i'm white. i'll have to learn how to say "gimme your best shot" in thai.

scott and i are headed east next. the beaches and water of koh chang are calling.

sawadee khrap

i've landed. i was expecting tokyo to be a very advanced airport with teleportation and everything. turns out its super lame. i had to go through security 3 times to transfer planes and take a bus 15 minutes between terminals. good thing there was plenty of time between my flights. time to sample the street food of bangkok.

red state + blue state = poo state

so i was reading The Atlantic on BART today and got to thinking about the election and how the US is supposed to be so polarized. But Kerry and Bush shared a common vision for the Middle East: get tough(er). And the problem is, this is what sells to Americans - toughness. It's why we love football, and Vin Diesel movies, and NASCAR. They're gritty. Americans don't like to think they can lose (e.g. Vietnam). But its also why we will lose "the war on terrorism" by fighting it the way we are. I think this bravado is a pretty scary trait of a people (my people!) who need to suck it up, and put some diplomacy and outreach and aid into the countries whose churches we are bombing, houses we are raiding, and children we are killing. Yes, get the hell out of there - that's why we're hated to begin with; but install aid and go back home and spend the money not on oil independence, but a reduction in oil consumption.

house of flying daggers

by Zhang Yimou, who also did Hero. I didn't like this as much as Hero, but still liked it. There is a plot twist that puts some off, but I didn't mind it. The use of color is really brilliant (but not as overt as Hero) and there is a fight scene in a bamboo forest that was very dreamy (serendipitous, being how much i've been thinking about bamboo recently). At the end the protagonist Mei makes what i thought a totally understandable non-decision between her two lovers. Go see it.

sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs

i'm giddy about this book that my roomate greg suggested to me. its by chuck klosterman. its essentially a pop-culture rant but its wicked smart. the 23 questions he asks everyone before he decides if he really can love them. the reason gen-xers are lazy is because we grew up with the downer of empire strikes back as our guidebook to life. and these nuggets:

Every relationship is fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power is whoever likes the other person less.

If given a choice between hearing a great band and seeing a cool band, I'll take the latter every single time; this is why the Eagles suck.

"Where are we?" And if someone wanted to use Pam[ela Anderson] as a metaphor for the decline of American morality and the vapidity of modern relationships, they could point out that phrase as an illuminating example of a lost generation.

thai tsunamis

a lot of people are asking me if i'm still going to thailand in light of the horrific events in southeast asia. i can only say that i am absolutely still going. thailand is a large country and i believe i'll be able to enjoy my time there. i'm sure the national mood will be changed somewhat (how can it not be?) but i've heard inspiring reports of thai resiliency. if the areas of the southwest such as Phuket and the coastline are in too much dissaray, i obviously won't be going there. this flu has been bad enough, i don't want to try my luck with cholera.

packing sucks

so i'm moving. again. this time i'm just packing everything up in storage. its always a real emotional thing for me to move. i get attached to spaces and places very easily. i'm going to have to go through a lot of memories to move. pictures i've taken while here, books i've read on that couch over there, the way the light comes through that window and lays across my black sheets in perfectly parallel little tangrams.

but right now i'm procrastinating. i'm supposed to be completely moved out by tomorrow morning and i haven't even started yet. i realize that most of this procrastinating is not wanting to leave the good that i've had here: i love this neighborhood, i love the friends i live with, i love the memories that i've made here.

moreso, i think (as crazy as this may sound) i'm waiting for a love that was supposed to move from this point to another. in my mind's eye from the moment i moved into this place until this very moment that i'm sitting here looking at all the crap on my floor, i had always imagined i'd be moving out to be with someone else. and this isn't the case. and i've known for almost half the time i've lived here that this was not going to be the case. its over. and it can be no other way. but that is the hesitation: i'm finally mourning the death of a dream. one of those private little dreams that you want desperately to be true but that you don't tell anyone about because they sound so silly. they show how childish you are. in the dream i would pack these boxes and move to be with her. and i would be whistling, and still sad to be leaving my friends and a wonderful neighborhood, but elated, confident, and in love. its an old dream, and one i need to let go of. in a week i will be travelling again and discovering new dreams every day. i'm stoked for that.

but not yet. i want one more night. i'm going to fall asleep in my black sheets one last night with the possibility, however unlikely, that the old dream might come true. the dream deserves it.