2005

happy new year everyone! i feel so blessed to have had the year i did. i was going to write something summarizing 2005, but every time i try words aren't cutting it.

best to you all in 2006.

christmas ships

my boss invited me out on his big boat for the annual running of the portland christmas ships. basically a bunch of boats cruise up and down the willamette river at night with a bunch of lights on their boats. there's food and drink and good times. it was freezing cold but we had a really beautiful clear night. there were about 14 boats in total. portland is such a beautiful city and seeing it from the water and cruising underneath all the bridges was a real treat.

i've posted some pictures of the ships and my new face. people were worried after those last pictures, but as you can see, its healing nicely.

happy holidays everyone!

the kite runner

by Khaled Hosseini. This book is on the NYT bestseller list and has been for awhile, and for good reason. Though the overall devices and structure that Hosseini uses are a bit simplistic for my tastes, the subject matter was riveting and haunting. His descriptive powers are intense - actually his non-descripritve powers are intense. Instead of detailing horror he alludes to it just enough to send your imagination flying off into the possibilities and as the novel climaxed I found myself more and more wanting to put it down because it seemed a bit too terrible. But I was engrossed, and would highly recommend the read. While the middle east is in the news spotlight daily, this novel serves as an important cultural and humane insight that is so often lacking in the daily orgy of journo-politicking of the region.

my new favorite site

just when you thought the internet wasn't impressive anymore, another example of collective amazingness emerges.

the most important posting

i met a beautiful canadian couple while travelling in new zealand (and we randomly ran into each other in thailand too) named laura and chris. as it turns out, chris personally knows one of the peace workers who were recently kidnapped in Iraq.

please take 30 seconds and sign this petition by clicking here.

i've included chris' email here:

You know that I do not like to send email blasts with frivolous messages, but this is very personal and important, so please take a look at this forward and the link below.

Many of you will know that four peace workers were recently kidnapped in Iraq. It just so happens that I (Chris) know one of them well from my days at Columbus Boys' Camp and Sault Ste. Marie. His name is James Loney and he has been an advocate for peace and social change locally in Toronto and globally as well. Knowing that's being held captive has really brought the horror of the Iraq war home. The charges laid against him for spying are absurd and we must do something to help.

We've all felt helpless with this war, and now Lara and I are hoping that by signing the petition and sending an email to the Muslim media outlets, we can make differenc ein the war. By freeing Jim we are allowing him, and others that are as brave as he, to continue their work with the real victims of the war, the poor and forgotten in Iraq.

Jim was the kind of guy who helped the poorest of the poor. One summer at Columbus Boys' Camp, where we helped underpriviledged boys in the GTA, Jim felt so passionate about helping even needier boys, that he went to the inner city in New York. He brought back a group of kids who needed our kind of love and care. That's just the kind of person he is, selfless and kind. Please take a few minutes to help him out.

turkey day smackdown

so i woke up on monday afternoon in the ER with people stitching my face together. painfully. i didn't know how i got there, but when i asked they said i fell off my bike. i hit a pothole they said. the only thing i remember is going to bed sunday night. the next thing i know i'm in the ER. weird. i'm ok, minus the scars and swelling and concussion. if you have a strong stomach you can see what i looked like the day after here.

happy thanksgiving everyone.

i'm thankful i'm alive.

why density?

being raised in suburbia i sometimes long for the backyard to throw the frisbee around (or in the fall, a football). then i remember that i've read things and walk my ass down to the park.

from Better Dead than Red:

The population of New York City is larger than that of 39 states. But because dense apartment housing is more energy efficient, New York City uses less energy than any state. Conversely, suburban living--with its cars, highways, and single-family houses flanked by pesticide-soaked lawns--saps energy and devastates the ecosystem.

strangers on a train

if there was ever a time to support cheap, efficient forms of transportation, you'd think now is the time. Apparently, the administration doesn't think so. From the New York Times editorial today:

The sudden firing by the Amtrak board of David Gunn, the best president in years of the nation's only passenger railroad, was a body blow to anybody who cares about long-range passenger trains.

Mr. Gunn has done a masterly job in the last three years of holding down costs without dismantling the railroad. That, apparently, was his problem. Mr. Gunn was trying to save Amtrak, but the Bush administration wants to privatize it, bit by bit.

The battle between Mr. Gunn and Amtrak board members - all of them appointed by President Bush - intensified in recent weeks when the board took steps to break off the more profitable Northeast Corridor, putting it into its own division and sharing its control and costs with the states. Senator Frank Lautenberg, Democrat of New Jersey, called it a "fire sale" intended to break up the nation's railroad system.

So last week Senator Lautenberg and Senator Trent Lott, Republican of Mississippi, managed to get a 93-to-6 vote to authorize $11.6 billion for passenger rail service in the next six years - as close to an all-out endorsement of Amtrak as you can get.

But while senators were trying to help Amtrak move forward, its board took a step backward. It complained yesterday that Mr. Gunn - who has greatly increased ridership, improved management and upgraded equipment - was moving too slowly. After his firing, Mr. Gunn said, "Obviously what their goal is, and it's been their goal from the beginning, is to liquidate the company."

For Amtrak's 25 million passengers, this should be a call to arms. Amtrak should be a public transportation trust. It will never be self-sufficient, nor show a conventional profit, any more than the airline industry can fly without federal help. The Bush administration long ago threatened to disassemble Amtrak. Yesterday it began at the executive suite.

autumn

the weather is definitely changing here in portland, and so i thought i'd share something from the Neijing, the classical text of chinese medicine:

In the three months of autumn all things in nature reach their full maturity. The grains ripen and harvesting occurs. The heavenly energy cools, as does the weather. The wind begins to stir. This is the changing or pivoting point when the yang, or active, phase turns into its opposite, the yin, or passive, phase. One should retire with the sunset and arise with the dawn. Just as the weather of autumn turns harsh, so does the emotional climate. It is therefore important to remain calm and peaceful, refraining from depression so that one can make the transition to winter smoothly. this is the time to gather one's spirit and energy, be more focused, and not allow desires to run wild. One must keep the lung energy full, clean, and quiet. This means practicing breathing exercises to enhance lung qi*. Also, one should refrain from both smoking and grief, the emotion of the lung. This will prevent kidney or digestive problems in the winter. If this natural order is violated, damage will occur in the lungs, resulting in diarrhea with undigested food in the winter. This compromises the body to store in the winter.

*a simple and effective breathing exercise is to sit upright and breathing through the nose, imagining energy beginning at the perinium crawling up the back of the spine to the top of the head on an in-breath and on the out-breath tracing down the front midline of the body to the genitals. touch the tongue to the top of the palette to complete the loop. you will find that you generate saliva while doing this. this is the good stuff and should be swallowed in three tiny sips as it occurs.

happy halloween!

halloween is one of my most favorite holidays.
i went to some hipster house party where a couple cool bands (narwhal and show me the pink) rocked the house.
i dressed up as a cast and had people sign me with various colored pens.
best signage, "have a great summer!"
my pumpkin is also pretty decent this year.

nam prik gaeng kheo wan (thai green curry)

thai green curry is the hottest, most fresh tasting curry i've ever had. the thai green chili (a.k.a., bird's eye or bird shit chilis) is really really hot. pick firm and small chilis. the smaller and greener the hotter. for this paste, you can freeze it so it will last about 6 months, or you can fry it in oil and jar it in the fridge for about 3 months.

Thai Green Curry (Yields 4-5 T)
dry ingredients:
1 t coriander seeds (roasted until brown)
1/2 t cumin seed (roasted until brown)
1/2 t black peppercorn (warm em up just for fun)
1/2 t salt

fresh ingredients:
1 t ginza/siamese ginger/galangal (skin removed & chopped)
3 T lemongrass (lower 1/3 only, chopped)
1 t kaffir lime peel (chopped - can substitute local lime peel)
2 T coriander root (chopped - can substitute coriander stalk)
2 T shallots (chopped)
1 T garlic (crushed)
1 t shrimp paste (ignore the awful smell and use it!)
1 t tumeric (skin removed & chopped)
20 small, green chilis (stems removed and chopped)
1 C sweet basil leaves

Make a powder of the dry ingredients in a mortar and pestle. Then add all the fresh ingredients and pound to a paste. This takes a while, 15-20 minutes of heavy mashing. But its totally worth it. The smells of all the ingredients will create this beautiful complex relaxing aroma. Its a very meditative process. The paste should be very very smooth and should stick to the pestle. If you'd rather use a food processor you can add a little water, but for some reason it just doesn't taste the same. Use immediately for best results.


Gaeng Kheo Wan Gai
Green Curry with Chicken (serves 4)
this dish is also good with tofu

1 1/2 C chicken breast (thinly sliced)
1 C thick coconut milk
1 C thin coconut milk
4 T green curry paste
3 long eggplants cut into 1 cm pieces
1/2 C small eggplants
2 T palm sugar
2 T fish sauce
2 kaffir lime leaves torn into pieces (discard the stem)
1 C sweet basil leaves
1 big green chili
1 big red chili

Heat a wok over high heat. Fry the thick coconut cream until the oil begins to crack out of the cream. When you see the oil, add the curry paste and fry until fragrant (about a minute). Then add the chicken or tofu and fry quickly until it turns white. Since tofu is already white i guess you can just keep going. Add the thin coconut milk and when it boils add the egg plants. Simmer until the eggplants are slightly soft. Add palm sugar, lime leaves, and fish sauce. Stir until the palm sugar dissolves. Add half the basil leaves. Garnish with the red and green chilis and the rest of the basil. Drizzle some coconut cream over the top if you have any left for a nice effect. Eat. Marvel at your genius.

yay, democracy!

American troops dead: 1979
Coalition dead: 198
Civilian dead: 272
Iraqi dead: 26,661 - 30,018

tao no. 49

Sages have no fixed mind;
they make the mind of the people their mind:
they improve the good,
and also improve those who are not good;
that virtue is good.
They make sure of the true,
and they make sure of the untrue too;
that virtue is sure.
The relation of sages to the world
is one of concern:
they cloud their minds for the world;
all people pour into their ears and eyes,
and sages render them innocent.

buy local

from LocalHarvest:

Why Buy Local?

Most produce in the US is picked 4 to 7 days before being placed on supermarket shelves, and is shipped for an average of 1500 miles before being sold. And this is when taking into account only US grown products! Those distances are substantially longer when we take into consideration produce imported from Mexico, Asia, Canada, South America, and other places.

We can only afford to do this now because of the artificially low energy prices that we currently enjoy, and by externalizing the environmental costs of such a wasteful food system. We do this also to the detriment of small farmers by subsidizing large scale, agribusiness-oriented agriculture with government handouts and artificially cheap energy.

Cheap oil will not last forever though. World oil production has already peaked, according to some estimates, and while demand for energy continues to grow, supply will soon start dwindling, sending the price of energy through the roof. We'll be forced then to reevaluate our food systems and place more emphasis on energy efficient agricultural methods, like smaller-scale organic agriculture, and on local production wherever possible.

Cheap energy and agricultural subsidies facilitate a type of agriculture that is destroying and polluting our soils and water, weakening our communities, and concentrating wealth and power into a few hands. It is also threatening the security of our food systems, as demonstrated by the continued e-Coli, GMO-contamination, and other health scares that are often seen nowadays on the news.

These large-scale, agribusiness-oriented food systems are bound to fail on the long term, sunk by their own unsustainability. But why wait until we're forced by circumstance to abandon our destructive patterns of consumption? We can start now by buying locally grown food whenever possible. By doing so you'll be helping preserve the environment, and you'll be strengthening your community by investing your food dollar close to home. Only 18 cents of every dollar, when buying at a large supermarket, go to the grower. 82 cents go to various unnecessary middlemen. Cut them out of the picture and buy your food directly from your local farmer.

diaper rash

the NYT ran an op-ed today highlighting the differences in how american and asian babies are potty-trained. there is even a support group for people determined to do it. the jist is that you can train your child to not need diapers after they are only three weeks old. i have no idea why i'm so interested in this - maybe because i thought those little asian kids with their butts hanging out of their pants were cute - but from an environmental and efficiency standpoint i'm glad to see people (adults) weening themselves off the diapers. the author makes the point that western culture attempts to make the baby independent earlier by use of cribs, strollers, and jump seats, whereas the diaper phenomenon seems contradictory to that aim. in asia, the kids are attached to their parents: they sleep with them, they are carried until they are too heavy to be, and basically just touched more. and you know what? all the kids i saw were sooooo well behaved. i think that we can and should investigate how we raise our children. and i think we should take lessons from those cultures that have methods that work. there's too many screaming brats around.

bike nation

well, its eco-day in brandon's brain. despite all the bitching you're about to read, i'm really settling into portland well. i just went for a run in the park directly behind my house and there was sun and the smell of damp earth. i'm about to make some green curry paste to go with all the vegetables i'm about to buy at the big saturday farmer's market. good stuff.

when i hear people complain about the price of gas i get annoyed. the price of gas isn't remotely high enough because of all of the hidden costs (see below). the cost would go even higher when you include fiascoes like the Afghanistan and Iraq wars, both of which are motivated by oil. If you still don't believe that, you need help and I can't help you.

from adbusters:

What would it cost to drive if the price tag of gas and cars included air pollution, road construction and maintenance; property taxes lost from land cleared for freeways; free parking paid for by taxes; noise and vibration damage to structures; protection of petroleum supply lines; sprawl and loss of transportation options; auto accidents; and congestion? A number of researchers have tried to answer this question, and John Holtzclaw of the Sierra Club profiled eight studies that, when averaged, estimated the true price of gas at $6.05 a gallon.

Source: John Holtzclaw “America's Autos On Welfare” Sierra Club

As for vehicles, transportation analyst Todd Litman has calculated that the external costs of driving would add $42,363 to the sticker price of a shiny new car, based on a 12.5 year lifespan.

Source: Todd Litman, “Transportation Costs & Benefits,” June 2004

Here's a comprehensive yet highly readable discussion of driving externalities produced by Redefining Progress:

Source: Beyond Gas Taxes: Linking Driving Fees to Externalities by Mark M. Glickman, March 2001

ride a bike.

the land of ports

i wanted to let you all know (because you care!) i've returned from
asia and am now living in portland.

the subsequent culture shock of returning to the
states was a bit rough. suddenly i could understand
everyone's conversations on the bus. if you've spent
a good deal of time on public transit, you know this
isn't a good thing. i had sticker shock too. $5 for
a beer! $5 buys 5 beers in asia! i forced myself to
stop converting everything becuase i was getting
depressed. i would, as it turns out, have to get a
job sooner rather than later. a hard pill to swallow
after more than a year off.

arriving in portland i quickly realized its
surprisingly difficult and arduous to find a place to
live. portland, like every city i guess, has distinct
neighborhoods and every time i went to look at a
place, the people would explain to me the culture of
the particular neighborhood. alberta is where the
artists live, the pearl is shi-shi, hawthorne is for
hippies, and northwest is for yuppies. "but what
about if you're me?" i wanted to ask them. "the real
people live in the east, the fake people in the west."
"the east is suburbia, the real city is in the west."
the fact that its a "renter's market" and having so
many places to choose from only confused me more. i
could stay in a dungeon that stank of mold and had
slanted floors for $300, i could get a 1 bedroom for
myself on a nasty street for $450, i could live in a
nice little house but be terribly far away from
everything and as long as i didn't bring meat in the
house (this includes fish sauce - a key thai
ingredient i won't give up) i wouldn't be burned at
the stake in their next seance.

my dad was gracious enough to stick it out in the
search with me for a few days, but when that turned up
empty, it was me, my bike, and my backpack along with,
luckily, the sunshine. i had to start my classes
(anatomy and physiology at the local community
college) soon and i needed a place to sleep, so i
stayed in a hostel that happened to be filled with
mostly americans looking for places to live in
portland as well. a far cry from the hostels in asia,
i assure you. but it was pleasant and they had a
great cat and cheap pancakes.

i eventually found an awesome place in northwest,
making me a yuppie. its a 1920s apartment building
with beautiful hardwood floors and a view of the city
and mt. saint helens - on a clear day. its got a gas
range and room for me to do yoga in my room. its
raining today, but i'm headed outside to the columbia
river gorge anyway - you just gotta learn to love the
rain. the artists, yuppies, and hippies all agree on
that.

koh tao (take 2)

so after massage class i wanted to spend my last days on the beach and doing some more diving. ideally i would have gone to Phuket and Koh Pi Pi, but the monsoon had brought poor visibility to the adaman sea. so i trucked it to koh tao and did some serious diving. i took an overnight bus, and my iPod was stolen out of the cargo hold. apparently they must have had someone down there going through bags while everyone slept. thieving bastards. it was a tourist bus, as opposed to my tibetian busride, so i guess it was a target. it was one of the only times i didn't carry things like that directly on my person. bummer.

anyway, koh tao did not disappoint. despite being dumb and getting a bad sunburn the first day, everything was spectacular. the visibility was really good and i saw a 6ft reef shark at one point, massive barracuda, squid, crabs, and even the cutest little yellow box fish at shark rock, one of the best dives ever. pictures here.

and now, its time to go home.

thai massage class

i just returned from 12 days in a hilltribe village learning thai massage (pictures here). it was beautiful - the monsoon season brought towering bamboo and lush greenery everywhere. it was tough - we practised 6 hours a day. i had to fend off yet another bug with fever and diaharea. but the class was great. the village was a lahu village ( aminority formerly from, of all places, tibet) and the german who founded the school had recently died. daily i was able to practice yoga and meditation as well as learn massage. we ate very simple (and sometimes awfully plain) vegetarian meals 3 times a day. i woke at 6 everyday to practice yoga. unfortunately, being in a hilltribe is very loud. pigs, dogs, chickens, cats, rats - they're all constantly fighting and making noise at all hours. but it was really great, and not surprisingly thai massage is an art that requires a huge amount of practice and understanding. it was interesting to see that the same issues i deal with in my yoga and meditation practice came up in my massage practice as well. i'm excited to continue studying and practicing, but for now, i'm going to get a massage myself and eat some meat. Pictures here!

villa incognito

by tom robbins. this book is hilarious. i resonated with the book because its about 3 vietnam MIAs who go missing in Laos and decided they wanted to stay missing. now that i know i'm headed home, i'm already missing the culture, the food, the weather. the book is about Bangkok, Laos, Japan, and American culture. It was excellent, but it ended a bit abruptly i thought. a glimpse of America through Japanese eyes:

Your country [America] seems to have everything and yet has almost nothing. Its unbelievable. In that vast, beautiful, powerful land of unprecedented abundance live some of the most unhappy people on earth. Oh, generally speaking, they complement all that affluence by being generous and energetic and, except for the ruling class - which is wormy with evil like ruling classes everywhere - rather decent. But they're chronically depressed and dissatisfied. Chronically.

Autobiography of a Yogi

by Paramahansa Yogananda. This is the man's life story of his spiritual journey in India and America. This is Yoga with a big Y. He begins his life always knowing and searching for a higher power. His run-ins with many saints and the miracles they perform seem magical. The skeptic in me always held a splash of incredulity of some of the tales: saints with two bodies, resurrections, saint who could live without food or water, levitation, curing disease, etc. At the same time, these stories are inspiring, and i don't reject any of it outright. Authenticated by impartial coroners, the power of yoga is such that upon death, Yogananda's body did not decay for one month before he was burried.

Additionally, his overall message of uniting East and West is inspiring. Throughout the book he compares Hindu and Christian teaching showing that they have much more similarities than differences. In America, i've seen all too well the divisive nature of the Christianity. This book is a refreshing look at religion and its place in the world.

Some gems:

It is the Infinite, the Ocean of Power, that lies behind all phenomenal manifestations. Our eagerness for worldly activity kills in us the sense of spiritual awe. Because modern science tells us how to utilize the power of Nature, we fail to comprehend the Great Life in back of all names and forms. Familiarity with Nature has bred contempt for her ultimate secrets; our relation with her is one of practical business. On the other hand, when the seld is in communion with a higher power, Nature automatically obeys, without stress or strain, the will of man.

quoting the great guru Babaji:

'Child, for the faults of the many, judge not the whole. Everything on earth is of mixed character, like a mingling of sand and sugar. Be like the wise who seizes the sugar, and leaves the sand untouched.'

War and crime never pay. The billions of dollars that went up in the smoke of explosive nothingness would have been sufficient to have made a new world, one almost free of disease and completely free of poverty. Not an earth of fear, chaos, famine, pestilence, the danse macabre, but one broad land of peace, prosperity, and widening knowledge.

xie jien jungwo

so, i'm off to thailand (again). this time to study some thai massage in a northern hilltribe village. i'm enjoying my last few days in kunming (southern china). today i went out and bought all the goodies i want to take home with me, including some amazing teas, and a calligraphy set. i met a chinese guy - we hung out all day drinking tea, drinking beer, and throwing the frisbee. we could hardly speak to each other but it didn't seem to matter.

10 things i'll miss about china:
10) ya rong chwar (buttery bbq lamb skewers w/ dry marinade - cost: $.12/ea)
9) cheap warm pijou (beer - cost: $.50/L)
8) cheap good food
7) sean & my friends in beijing
6) cheap accesible chinese medicine
5) the people (they're ａｍａｚｉｎｇｌｙ　friendly)
4) the mountains and rivers of the south
3) the inane engrish T-shirts (my favorite: "the company who always looks safety is like child's lost kitten")
2) the little kids butts poking out of their pants (all the toddlers have holes designed into their pants so when they need to go, they just go. as a result, their little butts are in plain view).
1) the squatters (nuff said)

10 things i won't miss:
10) traffic
9) spitting
8) cheap bad food
7) MSG
6) the music
5) the shitty sunglasses (i'm on pair #4)
4) pollution
3) traveller's diaharea (2 rounds is enough for me)
2) the shitty internet connections and blocked sites (the great firewall as its called)
1）cigarette smoke (its everywhere!)

on da bus - lhasa to chengdu

so i decided to try and save some money. the airfare from lhasa to chengdu is a steep $200, a bus trip is $60. being that i had time (or i thought i did) i went with the bus. i knew it was a long trip, but it turned out to be a lot longer than it was supposed to be.

first, the bus. its a double decker sleeper bus. sean, al, and i took one similar for 9 hours from kunming to lijang. that was the bus ride where we had to buy Al an extra bed in the back of the bus because he wouldn't fit in one. so, the beds are small. they're actually metal boxes about 4'5" in length where you have a metal box for a pillow. they're rough. i knew this. i also knew that the trip was supposed to take "3 days" - whatever that means.

i was mainly excited to travel by bus to see the scenery. it did not disappoint. the first night we drove through high altitude and a snow storm. i could tell we were high because of my pounding headache. i saw glaciers and prairies, and beautiful gorges and a powerful river (that after the rafting trip made me want to kayak it). plenty of lush, beautiful scenery in sichuan, and i saw part of the three gorges dam project where they were relocating entire villages above the flood line. impressive.

i also wanted a taste of chinese travel. the bus did not disappoint on that front either. i was the only non-chinese on the bus, and the other passengers loved the fact that i was there. i went by laowai, which literally means "outside person." the man sleeping in the bin next to me was particularly fond of calling me laowai and once he learned i spoke literally no chinese, he kept trying to tease me. it was fun, for the first 12 hours, but eventually got annoying because even though i didn't understand what he was saying, i knew he kept saying the same thing. some younger chinese on the bus befriended me, but because they spoke about as much english as i spoke chinese, we could hardly communicate anything more than pointing and saying if something was good or not.

the chinese smoke like chimneys at all hours. that was the worst. waking up in the middle of the night because the guy below my bunk was smoking is very unpleasant. a boy sleeping next to me had the most raunchiest of smells emanating from his feet, so i couldn't turn my head to the right. there was also a significant amount of hacking up lung butter and spitting. the women even do this - often. they are also incredibly loud, talking on their cellphones - loudly - at all hours. but they're great to travel with because they're always having fun. they didn't care that the bus was stopped, or broken, or that we weren't eating. they were constantly deriding either me (which i didn't care cause i didn't understand them) or the sifu (the bus driver, literally "master" a holdover from communist days) or each other (i think). we ate sporadically. my friends ordered food for me and we ate nearly every part of the pig (pig ears, intestines, and tails).

the bus meandered on its way. i'm pretty sure the route the driver took was a little more than irregular - we often drove off-road (hard to sleep with your head banging against the window). the bus broke down no less than 3 times. we stopped often for no apparent reason, and no one on the bus seemed to care when or if we would actually ever get to chengdu. at one point, when we were about 100 km from chengdu, we were stopped by police and told that the road was closed. at first i thought what they were saying was that we couldn't go through at all, and we would have to drive another day to get around the construction. in the end though, we just waited adding another 8 hours, and another night of trying to sleep, on the bus. a heartbreaker at that point.

it was definitely an experience. but after 90 hours of being in that metal bin, i had had enough. lucky me, a train is providing much of my descent toward laos. onward.

lhasa nights

they were a bitch to get posted, but here are some pics.

the last night that sean, missy, and nadine were here we went to a "nagma." this is essentially a nightclub where karaoke singers belt out the hits interspersed with some traditional dancing and variety acts. there was a moving stage, smoke machine, and flashy lights. its distinctly chinese in that its extremely shrill and loud. nadine had to put tissue in her ears, and some of the tibetans even did this. we were the only westerners in the place, upon arrival they seated us directly in the front. to forget the fact that our ears were bleeding we proceeded to get hammered on lhasa beer. they serve you beer in these little shot glasses, so its impossible to keep track of how much beer you've had. before we knew it, tibetans near and far were toasting us (note: they drink budweiser almost exclusively here). mostly people didn't dance. until they did. for certain songs everybody got up and danced in a clockwise circle around the center of the dance floor. it was just like being at one of the temples. then the song would end and everyone would go back to their table to sit and look completely bored and sleepy. we were the rowdiest bunch there and once our rafting guides showed up (unexpectedly, and late) all hell broke loose and we proceeded to dance to every song regardless of whether it was appropriate or not. i got a round of applause for a solo dance and later some of the karaoke singers came and sat with us which i think made us a bigger hit. sean, in typical sean form, nearly started a fight in the toilet with a chinese man. but i think overall, we were liked.

the rooftop of the world

after spending two days in chengdu (the capital of sichuan province) eating delicious mau pao dofu and hotpot, checking out panda bears, and taking in a sichuan variety show, it was off to tibet. on the trip were myself, sean, missy (an american i knew from yoga who lives in beijing), and nadine (a german who lives in sean's apartment complex).

we had heard that the first couple days after arriving in lhasa are rough because of the altitude, and they were. lhasa sits at 3650m (12,000 ft) where there is only 60% of the available oxygen as there is at sea level. despite taking some altitude medication, we essentially slept for two days straight. we had headaches, were dehydrated, and short of breath whenever we moved. but we got better and were able to explore the temples of the city.

lhasa is really an amazing place. maybe the holiest place in the world, tibetan buddhists (read: all tibetans) make pilgrimages to the temples the town is built around. we arrived smack dab in the middle of the jokhang, the holist of the holiest of places. all day people circumambulate the temple in a clockwise direction praying, chanting, and smiling. we looked a bit out of place with our backpacks and no idea where we were supposed to be going. lots of pointing and laughing.

the religious devotion is hard to describe and after reading Krishnamurti i found it impressive, but a bit silly. people here are so devoted, and so systematic in their practice. the chanting is really cool to hear. we went inside the jokhang for the evening prayers and got to watch the famous tibetan monks perform their chants. we watched for maybe an hour. so peaceful and mesmerizing.

everywhere we went we were included in the praying. people we happy to show us how to do the rituals. one temple we entered during a ceremony. the place was packed with monks listening to a lamma chanting something. we were motioned to walk right in, and even though the place was packed wall-to-wall with sitting monks, a small aisle was kept clear to we could walk clockwise around the interior of the temple, trying not to step on people. one of the monks even gave me a red cloth to wear around my head. it was intimidating to be there, but ultimately so friendly.

the day before we set out for our big 7 day rafting trip, i got really ill. i must have eaten something but it was coming out both ends and i had a fever. i was in bed sleeping and apparently sean told the guesthouse we were staying at

i won't even try to describe the scenery and hope the pictures can do a little justice to the amazingness that surrounded us daily. we rafted, went horseback riding, hiked, ate lunch in a nomadic yak fur tent with some tibetans, and were intesely checked out by the locals wherever we went. one of the rivers, had only been rafted once before so everytime we passed people they were flabbergasted. whenever we set up camp, we had a crowd of people around us watching us doing whatever we were doing. at one point 30 people just stood around and watched us eat. they were so so curious. it was fun. they especially liked my chest hair. they would pet the hair on my arm and say "yak." which is actually how you say yak in tibetan.

the guides were great and so was the food. the altitude was a bit rough. we started at 4700 m (15000 ft or 50% of available oxygen) and i had a pretty bad headache and shortness of breath. i took some diamox and we decended a bit which cleared everythign up and i was able to enjoy the rest of the trip. until i got some river bug that gave me awful diahrea. but it was tolerable, and i was still in very good spirits and enjoyed the trip immensely. (how do those sherpas do it? everest is 30000 ft!).

i have tons of pictures to go through, but i'll post some soon.

total freedom

by j. krishnamurti. jk was one of the most influential spiritual teachers of modern times. this book was recommended to me by the folks at the yoga retreat and it is really quite an amazing book. its an anthology of jk's most important writings, talks, and discussions.

in summary, his philosophy is that the individual has the power to change the world by becoming totally free from societies constructs and limitations. he shuns organized religions, politics, and any system designed by any group of people. he revokes the notion of an ideal, saying that we have in us, the power to see the world as it really is, not as we would like it to be, or remember it, but as it is now. digging deep down and meeting the conflicts we face through our jobs, relationships, families, and society head on is the only way to understand them and thusly be completely free of them. attempting to solve our conflicts in any other way will eventually only lead to more conflict, pain, and sorrow. with a free mind, one can act freely without an attachment to an outcome. one's life becomes pure action.

it was such an amazing book for me that i could only read one chapter a day, typically in the morning, and write on that which i had just read. it was the only way i could digest it.

here are some ideas that i found particularly compelling:

Conflict
Conflict only exists between two things that are false. Truth and Truth cannot be in conflict. Truth and falsehood cannot be in conflict. Only False and False. The sense of "I" is only a product of the environment. the fears, hopes, longings, prejudices, likes, and personal views which we glorify our temperament are, after all, the result, the product of the environment. So when there is conflict, it is between this "I" and the environment. Struggles of all sorts: job, wife, kids, money - are all a product of the environment. So, because conflict can only arise from a conflict of two falsehoods, the sense of self, the "I" must also be false. This is not surprising when "I" is seen as a product of the environment.

So, you are seeking a means to overcome this environment. For the "I" to conquer the "outside". You do this by attempting to change the environment, or by self-expressing (art, economic adjustment, service to humanity), or creating religions.

There cannot be a perfect environment. Each person has his own idea of what this should be, so it cannot and will not happen. The only thing that can happen is the awakening of intelligence that would allow one to be free of an imperfect environment. Only by questioning the environment can you see that it is false and therefore be free of any environment.

to free the mind, there must be great intensity; there must be this continual alertness, observation, which creates conflict. this alertness itself creates a disturbance, and when there is that crisis, that intensity of conflict, then mind, if it is not escaping, begins to think anew, and that very thinking is eternity itself, ecstasy.

Memory
if my experiences and remembrances of the past are becoming hindrances in the present through their reaction, then i cannot comprehend or live fully, intensely, in the present. if you are aware of that hindrance, aware of it at its depth, not superficially, then the dormant subconscious memory, which is but the lack of understanding and incompleteness of living, disappears, and therefore, you meet each movement of environment, each swiftness of thought, anew.

Loss & Love
so long as there is loneliness, emptiness, insufficiency, which in its outer expression is dependence, there must be pain. and you cannot fill that insufficiency by overcoming obstacles, by substitutions, by escaping or accumulating, which is merely the cunning of the mind lost in the pursuit of gain. you will see how memory creates greater and greater dependence, the continual looking back to an event emotionally, to get a reaction from it, which prevents the full expression of intelligence in the present.

Love
Love is not identification; it is not thought about the loved. You do not think about love when it is there; you think about it only when it is absent, when there is distance between you and the object of your love. When there is direct communion, there is no thought, no image, no revival of memory; it is when the communion breaks, at any level, that the process of thought, of imagination, begins. Love is not of the mind. The mind makes the smoke of envy, of holding, of missing, of recalling the past, of longing for tomorrow, of sorrow and worry; and this effectively smothers the flame. When the smoke is not, the flame is. The two cannot exist together; the thought that they exist together is merely a wish. A wish is a projection of thought, and thought is not love.

Experiment
thinking and feeling without a search for a reward, a result, is true experiment. in real experiencing, real experimenting, there cannot be a search for result, because this experimenting is the movement of creative thought. to experiment, mind must be continually freeing itself from the environment with which it conflicts in its movement, the environment which we call the past.

Resolving Problems
So, the mere search for the solution of your problems is not going to free the mind from creating further problems. As long as this center of self-protectiveness, born of insufficiency, exists, there must be disturbances, tremendous sorrow, and pain; and you cannot free the mind of sorrow by disciplining it not to be insufficient. That is, you cannot discipline yourself, or be influenced by conditions and environment, in order not to be shallow. You say to yourself, "I am shallow; I recognize the fact, and how am I going to get rid of it?" I say, do not seek to get rid of it, which is merely a process of substitution, but become conscious, become aware of what is causing this insufficiency. You cannot compel it; you cannot force it; it cannot be influenced by an ideal, by a fear, by the pursuit of enjoyment and powers. You can find out the cause of insufficiency only through awareness. That is, by looking into environment and piercing into its significance there will be revealed the cunning subtleties of self-protection.

its hot in beijing

from mohawk to nothing

gated communities

awesome

p.s. i can't read my blog from china, i can only post to it. funny that china considers me more dangerous than the new york times.

cultural difference no. 162

so, as you saw in the last post regarding china, some of the culture here can be annoying, but some of the differences are really cool. for one, its common for chinese men to walk around the street after dinner with their shirts pulled up and their bellies sticking out. invariably, their finger is in their belly button. its awesome.

the other thing that many chinese do that is different is that they eat with their mouths open. i was disgusted with this at first, because in the west its obviously considered rude - the sound is a bit gross to me still. but have you ever tried it? i'm not sure if it has anything to do with the olfactory glands, but food tastes WAY better when you eat with your mouth open. i think we've been missing out on 50% of the taste in an effort to be polite. if you are alone, and the sound doesn't ruin your appetite, try it - you'll be amazed.

star wars sucks

so, i was really disappointed with star wars episode 3. i guess in retrospect, there was no way i could have been satisfied after the tradgedies that were episode 1 & 2. sure, 3 was better than 1 & 2. but that's like saying constipation is better than diarrhea. my generation was built upon the ideals of star wars (see the earlier review of sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs), so its disturbing for me to see such a puff piece as a supposed prequel.

Lucas had a tremendous opportunity to show the struggle that eventually turns anakin skywalker to the dark side. i mean this, in essence is what the star wars epic is about. how one moves past the selfish desires and insecurities of the future based on the understanding and good of the greater whole and the understanding of the immediate present. anakin can choose to use hate and fear to try to secure the future of his loved ones, or he can accept that he has no control of the future and love them and all people immediately. This greater story is given short time with a quick discussion between anakin and yoda, and the anti-climactic scene where anakin "turns" to the darkside - an unbelievably emotionally unrealistic 3 minute scene. opportunity squandered. i guess Lucas thought inventing new vehicles for every scene and tying together loose ends that didn't need tying was more important than the actual story.

upon hearing that padame is dead, vader, correct to the cliche, raises his fists in the air and wails, "Nooooooooooooooooo!"

Nooooooooooooooooo, indeed.

a present of presence

We put thirty spokes together and call it a wheel;
But it is on the space where there is nothing
that the utility of the wheel depends.
We turn clay to make a vessel;
But it is on the space where there is nothing
that the utility of the vessel depends.
We pierce doors and windows to make a house;
and it is on these spaces where there is nothing
that the utility of the house depends.
Therefore, just as we take advantage of what is,
we should recognize the utility of what is not.

Lao-tzu
Tao Te Ching

This is an exceedingly hard thing to do:
recognize the utility of what is not.

The western way is to constantly strive for what one does not have. By so doing, are we ever happy? Are we ever satisfied with what we have now at this point? Can we live in the present without concern for the future? Can we forget the past?
My travels have shown me we are incredibly lucky to be born into the situation that we have, yet Americans are leading the way to our own self-destruction: mental illness, obesity, mass-consumption. And from what I have seen, the world is following our example.

I have no answers, only heartbreak. But this too, is what is not. The world is imperfect, and there is utility in that. Don't you think?

Try this: close your eyes. count each of your breaths (an inhale and an exhale is one). see how far you can get without losing track of what number you are on. see how quickly the past infultrates the present, or how our desires for a future other than the present pull you away from your breath. can you get to 10? 100? its very difficult. but the excercise is very instructive to show you just how well you can be in the present. the happiest times in my life are achieved when i am completely present. that's where happiness lives: in the now.

river town: two years on the yangtze

by peter hessler. peter is a resident of beijing whom sean met at a local book cafe. peter spent two years living in Fuling (in Schichuan Province) teaching English for the Peace Corps. The book is written as two intertwined themes. One, a story of his experiences living and teaching in Fuling, and the other are short stories of the Chinese people he meets. I liked the book because it gives an inside perspective on chinese issues like the three gorges dam, the Communist Party, democracy, america, capitalism, racism, etc. It was also good to get confirmation of my own experiences. Since I had spent the first week in china alone, i had started to wonder if the things i was seeing were as crazy as i thought they were, or if it was i who was different. Hessler's description of honking cars are a great example, and it comes as a complete shock and was one of the first things I noticed (its worth noting that the problem is compunded in Beijing where the population is insanely huge):

[the cars] were always passing each other in a mad rush to get wherever they were going. Most of them were cabs, and virtually every cabby in Fuling had rewired his horn so it was triggered by a contact point at the tip of the gearshift. They did this for convenience; because of the hills, drivers shifted gears frequently, and with their hand on the stick it was possible to touch the contact point ever so slightly and the horn would sound. They honked at other cars, and they honked at pedestrians,. They honked whenever they passed somebody, or whenever they were being passed themselves. They honked when nobody was passing but somebody might be considering it, or when the road was empty and there was nobody to pass but the thought of passing or being passed had just passed through the driver's mind. Just like that, an unthinking reflex: the driver honked. ... the other drivers and pedestrians were so familiar with the sound that they essentially didn't hear it. Nobody reacted to horns anymore; they served no purpose.

Something that i learned early on in Bangkok is that "the simple truth was that you could do nothing about either the noise or the pollution, which meant that they could either become very important and very annoying, or they could become not important at all." To enjoy your time in asia, you must decide on the latter. I've decided to make honking fun. I try to predict when someone will honk. I try to make cars honk on my bicycle. The chinese ride their bikes a lot. They also ride them very very slowly (most don't have gears). So, in comparison, i'm lance armstrong and when i use the car lanes to pass the slow cyclists, any car behind me will honk if i enter their lane. It doesn't matter that i'm actually going twice as fast as the cars (which also go slow because there are too many of them). The predictability and meaninglessness of the honk is hilarious.

Something i've noticed in the states is that the chinese exhibit greater collectiveness and generosity within a family than do americans. Growing up in San Jose, we lived next to a Chinese family where the grandparents lived with their children.

They were remarkably generous with each other, and often this selflessness extended to good friends ... collective thought was particularly good for the elderly, who were much better cared for than in America ... they almost always lived with their children ... doing what they could to help out around the family farm, business, or home. There was no question that their lives had more of a sense of purpose and routine than I had seen among elderly [in America].
But such collectivism is limited to small groups, to families and close friends ... these tight social circles also acted as boundaries: they were exclusive as well as inclusive. The most common [example] was the hassle at ticket lines, which weren't lines so much as piles, great pushing mobs in which every person fought forward with no concern for anybody else. Collectively the mobs had one single idea - that tickets must be purchased - but nothing else held them together, and so each individual made every effort to fulfill his personal goal as quickly as possible.

This behavior permeates every experience in China. There is no sense of personal space, because if you're not in the person's circle, you essentially don't exist. There is constant contact (i.e. collisions) with other people who aren't looking where they're going. When there is an accident or an argument on the street, bystanders will crowd around and watch without helping or interfering. Someone could be bleeding to death on the street from a car accident, surrounded by people watching them wail in pain. I've seen it happen.

China is indeed a crazy place for an american.

beijing

so i've been in beijing for about a month now. it has been really good to be around family (i.e., sean). i've started working at a yoga studio in exchange for free classes. so i've been doing yoga everyday, and i must be improving but can't really tell. i do know i sweat a lot. the classes are mostly flow classes which means there is a lot of controlled movement between poses. this is challenging for me as i was used to my meditative iyengar classes (in san francisco) where we'd get into a pose and sit there for a couple of minutes. there is a saying in yoga that means "fierce dedication without attachment to results." this is a great saying to apply not only to yoga, but to life in general and adopting and living it is really natural, and really freeing.

my anxiety now is almost totally gone. i think the accupuncture had a great deal to do with it. for the first time in a year, i feel like myself, but also feel totally new. different. at peace. its hard to describe, but its great.

i'm working on learning chinese while i'm here. its very difficult. the tones are a bitch to get right. and even when people say them back to back, i have a hard time distinguishing them. still, its useful and the chinese people are wonderfully helpful, generous, and inquisitive. sean's landlord is an elderly chinese woman who cooks for him constantly. being a white person (or waigouren - literally "an outside person") in china is like being the focus of attention wherever you go - even in a big city like beijing that has a huge expat population: people are constantly staring and wanting to talk to you, moreso than the other places i've been.

the chinese can't drive. i'm willing to say that with absolute certainty. i bought a bike for $20 and can cruise around beijing. and people on foot, car, and bicycle really try to hit you. there can be no other explanation. there is no such thing as private space. i was riding my bike the other day, and i was cruising along in a straight line. a woman standing on the curb on the left was going to cross the street. she looked me right in the eye, about 12 feet in front of me, and proceeded to step right in front of my bike. i swerved and just barely missed her. she just kept walking. this happens daily and i really have no explanation for it. you'd really think that people who have been living in such close proximity, in such density, would figure out a way to coexist without running into each other. but they seem completely incapable of it.

its also very polluted here. when the IOC came to check out Beijing for their Olympic bid, the government shut down all the factories and seeded the clouds so it would rain. that's how bad it is. and after a month of being here, after doing anything requiring heavy breathing (running, playing ultimate, cycling, getting out of bed) i end up in coughing fits. these really gross dry coughs. but sean and i are fighting back, creating a little oasis in his apartment of plants that are supposed to remove toxins from the air.

my books arrive soon so i can begin my distance learning classes in ecological design at San Francisco Institute of Architecture. i'm stoked.

the tipping point

by malcolm gladwell. "how little things can make a big difference" is the subtitle. this is a bestseller and i was interested to see his take on phenomena and epidemics. having recently read so many critical accounts of society, agriculture, and economics i was excited to see how things might change for the better via epidemics. recycling was one epidemic i had great experience with growing up. i remember the day that san jose instituted its rather expansive recycling program. one day we were throwing everything into one bin, and the next we had bins for every type of waste; aluminum, glass, newspaper, food waste, motor oil, metals, and yard waste were all separated and laid out on the curb in a precarious rainbow stack. san jose went from not recycling at all, to being the number one city in the world (probably for about a week). i always wondered how this happened.

gladwell breaks epidemics down into classes of people that fuel the epidemic. basically, his hypothesis is that these few people (connectors, mavens, and salesmen) spread the word about an idea or product. once this idea (and the idea has to be a "sticky" idea) reaches a certain critical mass (of typically 150 people) the product tips or explodes into the mainstream. he looks at the stickiness factor of sesame street and blues clues, the massive fall of new york city crime by tweaking very small cues in the environment, the allure of suicide and smoking, and the spread of fashion from a few to the world.

in regards to the new york city crime drop:

the criminal - far from being someone who acts for fundamental intrinsic reasons and who lives in his own world - is actually someone acutely sensitive to his environment, who is alert to all kinds of cues, and who is prompted to commit crimes based on his perception of the world around him ... behavior is a function of social context. [Crime] has everything to do with the message sent by the graffiti on the walls and the disorder at the turnstiles [of the NYC subway].

quoting the evolutionary biologist S.L. Washburn in an attempt to pinpoint the magic number of 150, the "social channel capacity" (note the interesting parallel with Manning's Against The Grain):

Most of human evolution took place before the advent of agriculture when men lived in small groups, on a face-to-face basis. As a result human biology has evolved as an adaptive mechanism to conditions that have largely ceased to exist. Man evolved to feel strongly about few people, short distances, and relatively brief intervals of time; and these are still the dimensions of life that are important to him.

Thus, the figure of 150 seems to represent the maximum number of people we can "know;" those who we have a genuinely social relationship with. Or, "those people you would not feel embarrassed about joining uninvited for a drink if you happened to bump into them in the bar."

Gladwell references Gore Associates (makers of Gore-Tex fabric) that take this number of 150 seriously:

At Gore there are no title. If you ask people who work there for their card, it will just say their name and underneath it the word "Associate," regardless of how much money they make or how much responsibility they have or how long they have been at the company. People don't have bosses, they have sponsors - mentors - who watch out for their interests. There are no organization charts, no budgets, no elaborate strategic plans. Salaries are determined collectively.

The short of the long of it is, Gore Associates is one of the most desirable companies to work for: they have a turnover rate that is 33% the industry average, they've been profitable for 35 consecutive years, and they are innovative and they are constantly growing new product lines. Whenever they grow to over 150 people, they divide the company into autonomous divisions. This way, you can work with people you feel a connection to. You know and understand everyone's job and their function. You build a relationship because you depend on them and what they do and they, likewise, rely on you.

yunnan

after playing beijing tourguide for sean's dad for two days (note: all i know how to do is say thank you and use the subway) it was time to hop on another plane to go south to yunnan. i had ants in my pants to hike the spectacular Leaping Tiger Gorge. Its a gorge where a river runs at the base of two 4000 meter mountains that are breathtakingly vertical (that's 2.5 miles high people!). Legend has it that it is so narrow in one spot a tiger escaped some hunters by leaping across. Sean and Al seemed a bit apathetic so i cracked the whip.

After the 3 hour flight, we arrived in Kunming and spent the next day in the pleasant weather. It was nice to be in cool, relatively clean air. (Beijing is as dirty as they say - if you're not choking back sand from the recent sandstorm, you're inhaling some sort of burt coal product or car exhaust.) Being in the south, there are more minorities so people seem a bit friendlier and are more exotic looking (read: more attractive). Getting to LTG was not easy, it required an overnight bus (9 hours to Lijang). Since Al is not a standard issue asian size, we had to buy him two beds in the bus and still the beds were too short, he hung over the edge at his calfs. But we made it there and it was another 2 hour car ride to the trailhead.

The walking was spectacular. We were so high, and the drop was so steep its really hard to describe. I literally almost fainted at one point it was so breathatking. I felt connected to the world. A very small part of it. At this one point the mountain was so large and sheer, you could put your chin on your chest and look down at the river, you could crane your neck back and see the mountaintop (barely), and you could look left and right and just barely make out the ends of the peaks.

All along the way the natives have donkeys to help the tourists up the mountain (because its so steep you have to use your hands in certain parts). I think even if we were to mount the little mules, they wouldn't have supported Al's weight. No asses for us.

We hiked for two nights and stayed in nice Naxi guesthouses. The Naxi are the so called "minority" people of the region. The food was excellent. They had this bread called Naxi Baba which was like a fluffy wheat pita bread that they put all sorts of toppings on: garlic, butter, bananas, chocolate, weed. you name it. it was great. The first night we arrived in the twilight (actually it was dark) and all the beds were full because of the big holiday week in china. It was 1.5 hours to the next guesthouse in the dark, and we were all very tired. The cute Naxi girls, giggiling, made us a bed on the floor and it worked superbly.

The town of Lijang was charming. Courtyard houses and a river running through the old town corresponded to what i thought china should look like.

pictures of yunnan, here

sencha photos

from the retreat

retreat

my blitzkrieg to beijing was motivated by a yoga retreat in the mountains to the north of the sprawling city. sean had signed me up for this retreat, and i was thinking it was going to be a bunch of yoga, but as it turned out it was so much more.

first, sencha is a small village perched in the steep mountains 2 hours north of beijing. when we arrived it was insanely windy and dry, but over the next few days it became warm, green, and calm. it went from winter to spring in those few days, the apricot trees coming into full pungent blossom throughout the hillsides. the retreat was led by cameron tukapua, a kind, warm new zealander versed in the art of accupuncture, chinese medicine, and qi gong. we'd awake every morning at 6:30am with 2 hours of yoga, followed by a wonderful breakfast, a lecture, lunch, a hike and lecture, 2 more hours of yoga, dinner, a talking circle, and then meditation and bedtime. it was ideal. the people were perfect and so was the food. the teachings revolved around a model of being, life, and health that are inspired by the seasons and the ecology of the planet.

for example, the cycle of summer -> indian summer -> autumn -> winter -> spring are analagous to the 5 elements of fire -> earth -> metal -> water -> wood. each of these elements has a connection to various parts of the body as well as personality archetypes, emotions, traits, etc. when we're out of balance in one element, the model shows how it can affect the others. it was a beautifully simple system, and it was exciting to learn about in such a dreamy setting. our lecture on metal/rock was delivered on the great wall itself perched high above everything - we were on top of the world.

when i returned from the retreat i got my first accupuncture treatment by the teacher, and it was really wonderful. i've had a total of 3 treatments and they've all helped in some way or another. while in china i hope to spend more time studying more about this life energy chi which i've felt in small quantities before, but never as strongly as now. the human body is truly amazing.

now sean, his dad, and myself are off to yunnan in the south of china to hike and visit the "minorities" as they're called here.

yangshou pictures

are finally here.

yangshou, china

i arrived in guilin to rain and cold. bangkok was stifling hot when i left and the south of china is just plain cold at the moment. i haven't seemed to acclimate to any sort of weather probably because i rarely stay put.

i took a ferry down the Li River to Yangshou. The river snakes its way through enormous limestone mountains. These are the same mountains that inspire all of those ink scroll paintings you see everywhere. Many of the mountains are named after objects they evoke: elephant trunk, apple, 9 horses, camel, dragon. It was like picking objects out of clouds. Dreamy.

Towards the end of the cruise, some older chinese gentlemen took a liking to me and proceeded to get me drunk on the local beer. Being that i didn't speak a word of chinese nor they a word of english, i drank what they gave me, not wanting to offend them. it was a lot of beer.

i found a guesthouse, Hotel California, and took a big nap.

waking, i went to find food. and find it i did. the street food here is pretty fresh and varied. snails, rabbits, snakes, chickens, fish, bamboo, dog, pork, EVERYTHING. i hope to try a little bit of everything while i was here, so i started in on some snails and vegetables. i need to learn how to say, "no MSG" though as it seems to be in everything. i had some cuhrazy dreams.

the next day i took a calligraphy class and climbed one of the limestone mountains. i got nearly to the top before deciding that i probably wasn't supposed to be up there. i didn't want to piss off any officials. i was using trees and small foot/hand holds to get that high. i got some good pictures though.

i decided to go live the remaining sunny days in yangshou with my calligraphy teacher. he had some extra rooms he rents out and is trying to get an actual hostel off the ground. he and his family are wonderfully kind people. i was able to eat 3 meals a day with them and their son. i hiked to the top of moon hill - this amazing limestone bridge at the top of one of the many pinnacles. i also got to practice a bit more calligraphy, some cheng-style tai chi, and do my first actual rock climbing (note: i suck).

soon i will board a train and in 27 hours arrive in beijing. i'll hopefully post some pictures when i get there.

against the grain

by richard manning. the subtitle to this book is "how argirculture has hijacked civilization" and the book is just that. although i was put off by manning's manic style, i do like the message and the argument that he delivers. in short, it is a must read.

this book is a logical extension of Ishmael in that it discusses precisely what the last 10,000 years of agriculture has grown: poverty, hunger, famine, slavery, corruption, imperialism, war, diabetes, obesity, disease, poisoned drinking water, extinction of species, etc. its a pretty damning account, but the argument is pretty sound. in the modern day, by subsidizing and supporting industrial agriculture and encouraging surpluses, the USDA has encouraged and enabled the growth of what is known as the farming of commodity goods made from wheat, rice, and corn. these grains are then processed into things like flour, high fructose corn syrup, and the like consituting nearly 66% of our caloric intake (add sugar and you nearly have the complete picture of what we eat). because they are commodities they can and are traded in markets just as currecy is. what farms grow is no food, but money. and we are fooled into eating it, pretending that it nourishes us (because we feel full).

in regards to production:

virtually all of the increases in total food production ... [in the US] ... were achieved by expansion of the arable land base ... eventually, though, expansion ran up against the limits of the planet's supply of plowable land.

we have nearly exhausted this strategy [of making a plant the most productive as possible] in a bout forty years, a period in which the world's population has doubled. There is an odd proportionality to that. It took ten thousand years to exhaust the old expansionist strategy of claiming more arable land [to increase total food production].

the farm subsidy itself encourages surplus. whatever the farmer doesn't sell, he cashes a check from the government. the surplus food is typically exported to undeveloped, famine stricken areas, which encourages further population growth, bankrupts local farmers, and adds a resource to parasitic governemnts.

in surplus, we end up with worthless products like Jell-O, "a tasteless blob of reconstituted cow's hooves artificially colored, sweetened [by corn syrup], and flavored."

on industrial ag:

the richest 2% of all farmers - 2% of 1.6% of the nation's population - account for 35% of total farm sales. At the same time, they receive 27% of federal subsidies. As many as 76% of the farms in some Colorado counties would lose money were it not for subsidies.

on fast food:

Americans spent $6 billion on fast food in 1970 and more than $110 billion in 2000. This latter figure exceeds what Americans spend annually on higher education, personal computers, or cars. It's also more than they spend on movies, books, magazines, newspapers, videos, and recorded music combined.

he even quotes my heroine, Alice Waters, "Every choice you make has consequences for the quality of your own life and good health, but also for agriculture and culture. If you buy food from people who take care of the land, you are supporting a while way of life."

its not all doom and gloom, as manning points to the recent surge in organic farm and farmer's markets as ways to turn the system around. from organic farming leads to sustainable agriculture, to the development of a permaculture. encapsulating the essence of nature in a farm would be ideal. closing the loop and letting the land produce. when people start caring what they eat, and learning about what they eat, they will begin to connect with people of their community and therefore lead happier, healthier lives.

the economy of cities

by jane jacobs. i didn't like this nearly as well as The Death and Life of Great American Cities, (which is fantastic) but maybe its because i know shit about economics. her basic thesis is that it is cities that allow rural land and agriculture to develop rather than the other way around. cities invent and towns and farms implement. i guess this wasn't terribly surprising to me, but, again, i've engaged in little reading on economic theory. she mentions only in passing that

The effects of economic stagnation upon nature are veiled when populations are so scanty and so primitive in their technologies that anything they do has relatively little effect upon the rest of the natural world. But once a society has developed its economy appreciably, and thus has increased its population appreciably too, any serious stagnation becomes appallingly destructive to the environment. Common sequels in the past have been deforestation, complete destruction of wild life, loss of soil fertility and the lowering of water tables.

but this is all she says about it. its not clear to me what she means by stagnation, which made me frustrated for a more telling account. this statement to me seems counter to the theory in Ishmael where she believes technological progress will right a wrong world. but i had to guess because, again, that's all she said about it.

some other nuggets.

one of the social preconditions for economic development is not so much the opportunity for a person to change his work (and his class) from that of his father, as if often supposed, but rather the possibility of changing radically his own work and his own place in society during his own working life.

so, just when i thought i wasn't contributing to the economy by leaving engineering, according to JJ, i am. neat.

and:

When organizations that are already large decide to embark on a program of adding new goods and services, they seldom start by adding onto the divisions of labor they already have. They buy up others, to provide parent work for the new purposes they have in mind.

in other words, actual R&D typically does not (and will not) come from large companies. they can't afford the risk of development costs not paying off (something like 9 of 10 ideas fail). so big companies buy small ones. this is exactly what i saw while working. new exciting work done by the start-ups whereas the larger companies work on their quarterly profits ensuring the bread will be on the table. this is what drove me mad. the tendency of the masses to participate in maintenence, not innovation.

bali

would you believe, more pictures than ever!


wowie. bali is truly a magical place. after ditching singapore i arrived late on a weekend night in bali - knowing i couldn't get to the dive location so late i decided to party it up in kuta and see what it was all about. many australians and many balineese girls looking for australians. not a very good scene but met some nice australian couples. the vibe was bad so after dealing with my stolen wallet problem (ick), i bolted for jemeluk beach on the north-east coast to get down to diving business.

i wanted to do a rescue course so i tagged along with some open water divers and helped the instructor roger. the dives were incredible. the water is even warmer in bali than in thailand and it was much clearer and the coral was in amazing shape. the variety of fish was outstanding.

i did a total of eight dives over four days including a night dive and a 39m (130 feet) dive at Gili Selang where i saw 4 (that's right 4!) Great Hammerhead sharks! they were just out there lurking off in the distance for about 10 seconds. even roger was pumped (only the second time he had ever seen them)! so i was obviously very lucky and stoked.

the fishing village i stayed in was real bali. every morning the people would wake early (at about 5:30) because it gets so hot there in the middle of the day. they had these brightly painted teak boats they use for fishing and carting tourists around. they are simple but functional - i even did a dive off of one.

after i passed my rescue test i set off for the very small village of sidemen. it is located at the base of an active volcano mt. agung. i stayed in a retreat-style bungalow. i was definately living it up. the view of the valley with rice-terraced fields and a river was almost too much. even on the third day i was pinching myself.

the day before i left i went to the biggest temple in bali on the side of mt agung. my guide, gusti, had me put on a sarong and headband so i would be properly dressed for the ceremonies that were going on. i was surprised to find thousands of people at the temple praying at this ceremony that occurs once every 5 years. they were bussing people in from all over bali to pray. gusti showed me how to pray with flowers in your hands and to drink the holy water. there was music and food all the while looking out over the beautiful bali landscape. i'll never forget it.

the balineese were really cool. so helpful and smiling all the time (even more so than the thai). all the bali boys i met always asked me if i had been in love. i had no less than 3 conversations wherein they expressed their desire to fall in love with a western woman. they asked me lots of questions about my past loves. apparently, they think bali women are only after status and money. the few bali girls i talked to seemed to confirm this as they always asked 1) where i was from and 2) what my job was. you could imagine their reaction when i told them i didn't have one. ha!

at any rate, bali wowed me. its one of those places that i will definately return to soon.

singabore

new pictures!

so, as you can tell by the nature of the last few posts, i've been hanging low for awhile. i was sick for a bit in chiang mai which allowed me ample time to read (note book reports below) and enjoy some food. and then to bangkok for some "same same". i've really been lounging. but when my visa needed renewing (every 30-days in thailand) i jumped on a cheap flight to singapore. the food was the best i was told and thai food was becoming tiresome (can you imagine?).

singapore is a strange place. basically only 40 years old, what once was a fishing village of 160 people is now a thriving commercialized metropolis. there is some excellent architecture around; namely the esplanade arts center ("durian" as its called here because it looks like the treasured spiky fruit) that is really strikingly (i.e. spikingly) beautiful as well as a new 16 story library.

its so clean here its spooky. i think like most crimes here, littering must be heavily punished because there isn't a scrap or cigarette butt or anything on the ground. no graffiti either. Anywhere! its bizarre. chinatown is clean! what the hell? who ever heard of clean chineese? and everyone is tidy and clean and there isn't any poverty to be seen. its like one big social science experiment that i'm not sure i like. in fact, there's very little for me to do here since i don't shop and that seems to be what everyone does here. its really hot though and the best way to avoid the heat are the malls.

oh yeah, and everyone speaks english! everyone! whether they are thai, chineese, malay, indian, or arab. spooky. this is clearly what the global culture is becoming: everyone still looks different, they all speak english, and they seem to exist to consume material goods.

but the singaporeans eat. and that i can do. at the hawker stalls its common to eat with strangers and for them to offer you some of their food. in fact, the common greeting here is "have you eaten?" here is an example of what i ate yesterday:

char siew bao (steamed pork buns), grass jelly drink, pork innard soup, kaya toast with coconut jam, fishball soup, carrot cake (which is actually made of radishes and isn't sweet), rice porridge with fish, coconut juice (twice), and mee chong (an indian dish of spicy fried noodles with pork).

whew!

so not being able to take the mall scene and my (surely) expanding gut any longer, i'm off to bali. i've heard that they like littering so it will at least feel homey.

p.s. this is awesome

ishmael

by daniel quinn. this book is so amazing i'm having a hard time coming up with the right things to say about it. i'm not sure how to even start. its about our global culture, and why its wrong, or why it might be. how there are messages everywhere that "Mother Culture" dictates the way we think the world operates. it deals with sustainability and living in harmony with nature and how we haven't been doing either for 10,000 years. it takes a novel look at the biblical stories of adam and eve and cain and abel. sean had recommended it to me years ago and i've just gotten around to reading it. everyone should read this book and give it a thought.

p.s. i'm in singapore.

the fountainhead

by ayn rand. my first ayn read. it was brilliant. i devoured it in just over a week (it helped that i was sick). she puts forth her theory of objectivism wherein the individual's happiness is a result of their productive achievements. as she states it:

1. Reality exists as an objective absolute—facts are facts, independent of man's feelings, wishes, hopes or fears.

2. Reason (the faculty which identifies and integrates the material provided by man's senses) is man's only means of perceiving reality, his only source of knowledge, his only guide to action, and his basic means of survival.

3. Man—every man—is an end in himself, not the means to the ends of others. He must exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing himself to others nor sacrificing others to himself. The pursuit of his own rational self-interest and of his own happiness is the highest moral purpose of his life.

4. The ideal political-economic system is laissez-faire capitalism. It is a system where men deal with one another, not as victims and executioners, nor as masters and slaves, but as traders, by free, voluntary exchange to mutual benefit. It is a system where no man may obtain any values from others by resorting to physical force, and no man may initiate the use of physical force against others. The government acts only as a policeman that protects man's rights; it uses physical force only in retaliation and only against those who initiate its use, such as criminals or foreign invaders. In a system of full capitalism, there should be (but, historically, has not yet been) a complete separation of state and economics, in the same way and for the same reasons as the separation of state and church.

it is secondarily about architecture, which tickled me pink. the main character is a true modernist in his designs and his arguments against classical architecture are, in my view, dead-on. i'm definately going after atlas shrugged soon.

corrupted incorporated

shall i say it?
do i need to?

it appears that the insurance giant AIG's chairman participated in a deal that "may have been aimed at artificially bolstering the company's financial position."

doesn't this sound a tad familiar? haven't we been through all this before? weren't the new "transparent accounting" principles supposed to curtail such acts?

i'm shocked. and not because people of questionable ethics in high places exist. i know they do. sadly, its more the rule than the exception. when will we re-invent capitalism so we don't reward people for their bullshit behavior?

i'm not shocked because this exists. i'm shocked that it will be brushed under the rug tomorrow and the machine will keep on polluting and nobody will bother to make a change.

is AIG in your portfolio?
i bet it is.

skinny legs and all

by tom robbins. i can't say enough about this writer. why haven't i been reading him my whole life? he's a poetic genius. this one's about peeling back the illusions (or veils) of life. its about everything. although i'm tempted to buy all his books and read them back-to-back next up is some ayn rand.

elephant nature park (part two)

new pictures!

i've just concluded my second week at the elephant nature park, and the amazingness just kept on coming. i was finally able to meet Lek, the park owner. She is so kind and sweet and has such a huge heart. I was able to learn most of the elephants by name and even some of the 35 dogs.

later in the week we went on what's called a "Jumbo Express" - we drove out to a remote karen hill tribe village. before arriving to the village we went into the forest and tied blessed monk scarves around trees to protect them from illegal logging. it would be nearly unthinkable for a thai to cut down a blessed tree. i chose some really big trees off in the distance that i thought needed a little extra karma.

when we got to the village we administered medicine to the children and a few residents. the kids happily lined up for their shots and we would give them sweets and balloons. they loved those balloons. i'm not sure they had ever seen one before.

the next day we bamboo-rafted down the river to an elephant camp that had some sick elephants. upon arriving we were ushered into the back - as it turns out they would allow us to treat the elephants (for free mind you) but we had to do it out of sight of the tourists. we treated about 5 elephants for cracked feet. because of over-working and extra dry conditions, their feet were cracking. some were worse than others, but you could see that they were very tenuous when it came to going up or downhill. we squirted this milky solution on their feet and coated their nails with iodine. they were'nt too happy about it.

another elephant had a huge hole in its head. their mahout said he didn't know what it was from but Pom, the one running the Jumbo Express, said the mahout probably hit him with his metal hook. the final treatment involved putting anasceptic on a gash on the side of an elephant, clearly from the harness used to carry toursists. it was deep and bleeding.

the hardest thing about this trip was that we couldn't say anything to the tourists. these elephants needed to rest for about a week with no work, but instead were going to be carrying more people in about 45 minutes. i'm sure, if the tourists had known, they wouldn't have ridden the elephants. besides, elephants are slow and terribly uncomfortable to ride on for any length of time. but if we had told the tourists what was going on, the park would not allow Lek and her group to treat the elephants at all, and they would be far worse off without treatment.

sigh.

i hope to return to the park if i can find a substantial project to work on. i feel like i've cleaned up my fair share of elephant shit. still looking for an apartment here with a kitchen - you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find one.

p.s. as far as those huge spiders are concerned, they're totally harmless (although still fast as lightning). i ran into enough of them at the park that i can now expertly shoo them away. a moment of silence for the poor guy who met his demise on the bottom of my shoe the other week.

elephant nature park

so i had heard a lot about elephant abuse in thailand but didn't really know that much about it. turns out there is an excellent elephant hospital/sanctuary/park an hour north of chiang mai. you can pay them a fee and you can volunteer there for one day up to two weeks. all housing and meals are provided and you help the permanent volunteers with their daily chores.

there are about 15 elephants in the park. most of them had been abused and come to the hospital sick, and some have been purchased by the amazing park owner, Lek. some of the stories of the elephants are truly horrific. one of the elephants, Jokia, used to work in a tourist camp. she was pregnant and probably because of the harness used to carry tourists on her back, she mis-carried. she became depressed and refused to work. so, her owner took a slingshot and blinded her in one eye. still not working (obviously) the owner sold her. the new owner, unhappy that she wouldn't work, blinded her other eye. so now she is completely blind and wanders around only by aid of another elephant. this is just one story. there are 14 others with equally horrific tales.

we also learned about the way the elephants are trained using the pedjan, or "crush". when an elephant is about 3 years old they are put into this bamboo contraption that totally immobilizes them. then they are beaten for many days and nights (usually 3 days for females and 7 for males) without food or water until they are able to do some rudimentary skills. this is commonly known as "breaking the will of the elephant." the videos we saw of this ritual are awful. the elephant screams and screams and is beaten constantly while men shout at it from all directions. The thing is, all domestic elephants in thailand go through this. This is likely why you sometimes hear of elepghants going on rampages and killing people later in their lives. Lek, the park owner, rightly objects to this treatment and is working to inform the Thais, and tourists about proper elephant care. In fact, there are two babies at the park that will never go through the pedjan, proving that elephants can be trained without it.

so after a week of volunteering, its been really great. we spend most our time feeding and cleaning up dung. but we also wash and ride the elephants (the proper way, along their neck) on occasion. i learned some thai commands for driving the elephants around. they eat constantly: pinneaple, cucumber, banana (trees, leaves, fruit, and stalks), papaya, figs, grass, corn. it never ends! i've taken care of an 80 year old elephant, named Mae Tong Bai. She is a real sweetheart.

Pictures here.
More info here.

i have a week left at the camp (unless they want me to stay longer), and then its on to a new adventure. i'm not sure yet what that will be.

night of the spider

so i recently had to change guesthouses. when you tell the thais that you expect to stay for "around 3 days" they take you literally. so, unable to extend my stay, i moved down the road to this semi-swanky place (i.e., $6/night instead of $2.50).

i immediately took advantage of the hot shower and went out for a bite to eat. when i returned, i found in the bathroom a very large spider. i'm not typically afraid of spiders. but then again california spiders had nothing on this guy. he was the size of my hand.

remembering that things like to kill you in asia, i took a .picture and went to show the receptionist to see if my life was in danger. the conversation went like this:

me: "is this spider poisonous?"
receptionist: {shakes head in the negative}
me: "good spider?"
receptionist: {shakes head in the affirmative}
me: "not bad?"
receptionist: {continues shaking head} "where you find?"
me: "bathroom"
receptionist: {laughs}

so i return to my room %30 confident that the spider will not kill me. besides, he'd have to crawl a long way out of the bathroom to get to the bed, and that seemed unlikely. he seemed happy sitting there doing what spiders that size do. eat water-buffaloes i thought to myself. i didn't want to kill him, so i fell asleep after some reading.

maybe because of this, i have a nightmare. think shaun of the dead without the comedy. i was killing (or at least running away from) zombies in some crappy suburban town. it was a bit freaky. i wake up and go to the bathroom.

i notice the spider is nowhere to be seen.

hmm

as i walk back to the dark room i sleep in, i'm spooked just enough to turn the light on and have a look around. sure enough, not 3 feet from my pillow is my new buddy. maybe because of my nightmare i wasn't super freaked out. i actually took some time considering my options:

1) pick spider up on paper and shoo him outside
2) leave him there and go to sleep (yeah right!)
3) shoo him away from bed and go to sleep (maybe)
4) kill him

i didn't want to kill him. really. mosquitos, yes - dead in an instant. maybe it ain't buddha nature to kill them but i hate those little bloodsuckers. this was a big, hairy, spider who probably ate mosquitos and, like i said, waterbuffaloes. but probably wouldn't bite me. 30% sure of that. so i attempt some combination of 1 & 3.

i approach him with some paper. he sees me move and twitches very quickly - closer to the pillow. wow, he's really fast. this makes me think he can jump and i'm suddenly reliving arachnaphobia with john goodman in my mind. that's it, i thought. the little, i mean big, guy has to go.

so after another hesitation - i really didn't want to do this - i smashed him with my shoe. picked him up with some tissue and threw his twitching lifeless body in the trash. i should mention that as he hit the bottom of the bin his heavy body landed with a thump. that's how big he was.

i fell asleep in about 5 minutes, despite learning that i now have a fear (or atleast dislike) of spiders.

welcome to thailand.

chiang mai (take 2)

ahh, chiang mai. cool(er) weather and awesome classes and markets. it was good to be back. i spent the first week mostly cooking - i continued the week long class i had started previously and made some really awesome (i mean really awesome kick-ass thai food). here are some highlights:

tom yum khung (clear hot and sour soup with prawns)
tom kha gai (coconut hot and sour soup with chicken)
gaeng phed pet yang (roast duck in red curry)
chiang mai curry with pork
som tum (green papaya salad)
cashew chicken sirfry
mango sticky rice

still, though there was something missing about the class. i guess i'll have to keep looking. shucks.

for now, i'm off to the elephant nature park where i will be volunteering for at least two weeks. picking up dung will consume the majority of my days i'm guessing.

pictures

i've posted more pictures of koh tao and chiang mai. unfortunately flickr isn't letting me create new groups unless i pay them money, so you'll have to live with the disorganization. ahh, entropy.

lying liars and the lies they tell

by al franken. this was a fun, and at times maddening, book. al franken is a funny guy and he spends the majority of this book going after the right wing media like bill o'rielly and sean hannity. these guys are idiots, but that's nothing new. what was new was learning about how john mccain got push polled, details about fox trying to sue franken, and how bush, although claiming to be a man of faith, really probably isn't. another interesting question franken asks is, why is john walker lindh such a big deal when there have been far more treacherous traitors in our past - they're called confederates, and they killed more americans than lindh.

ko tao

the island of ko tao is a mecca for scuba diving. i met sean and his friend rachel at the airport in bangkok. we spent a day hanging out and then we were island bound.

the island is pretty touristy in spots, and quiet in others. we chose the quiet southern beach to base ourselves at and got a failry decent room near the beach. the weather was pleasant and the water was as warm as a bath. sean got his open water certification, and i got my advanced. the dives on the advanced were really cool. we did a deep dive (30m = 100ft!) and a night dive that was absolutely surreal. we saw stingrays, batfish, damsel fish, urchins, moray eels, crabs, shrimp, and even an enormous puffer fish! i loved the diving there so much i'm considering going back to get my divemaster. in late march the whale sharks are supposed to be migrating and its supposed to be a life changing experience to swim next to those giants. getting my divemaster would require 4 weeks of diving, but after the certification i could lead dives and get paid to do so!

anyway, i hope to post some more pictures soon. sean and i are heading to chiang mai in a few days where i'll finally get to settle for a bit and take some of the classes i;ve been wanting to do.

radiant cool

by dan lloyd. i think this book may have been written specifically for me. i had just finished a conversation with someone that i had been reading too much non-fiction lately and what i really was hungry for was a good romp with my imagination. this book delivered in a big way, and is the first fiction/non-fiction hybrid i can remember reading.

the book has two parts. first is a fictional account of a philosophy graduate student trying to uncover the mystery of consciousness as well as her advisor's mysterious disappearance. it is a delightfully playful quest for knowledge where point and counter-point allowed me to recall nearlyevery lecture of my cognitive science undergrad career. mmm, nummy nostalgia.

the second part is dan lloyd's own manuscript, putting forth his novel (get it?) theory. this part was more technical, and probably not as much fun if you're not familiar with the history of philosophy of mind. however, i loved it.

secret's out: i'm a nerd.