total freedom

by j. krishnamurti. jk was one of the most influential spiritual teachers of modern times. this book was recommended to me by the folks at the yoga retreat and it is really quite an amazing book. its an anthology of jk's most important writings, talks, and discussions.

in summary, his philosophy is that the individual has the power to change the world by becoming totally free from societies constructs and limitations. he shuns organized religions, politics, and any system designed by any group of people. he revokes the notion of an ideal, saying that we have in us, the power to see the world as it really is, not as we would like it to be, or remember it, but as it is now. digging deep down and meeting the conflicts we face through our jobs, relationships, families, and society head on is the only way to understand them and thusly be completely free of them. attempting to solve our conflicts in any other way will eventually only lead to more conflict, pain, and sorrow. with a free mind, one can act freely without an attachment to an outcome. one's life becomes pure action.

it was such an amazing book for me that i could only read one chapter a day, typically in the morning, and write on that which i had just read. it was the only way i could digest it.

here are some ideas that i found particularly compelling:

Conflict
Conflict only exists between two things that are false. Truth and Truth cannot be in conflict. Truth and falsehood cannot be in conflict. Only False and False. The sense of "I" is only a product of the environment. the fears, hopes, longings, prejudices, likes, and personal views which we glorify our temperament are, after all, the result, the product of the environment. So when there is conflict, it is between this "I" and the environment. Struggles of all sorts: job, wife, kids, money - are all a product of the environment. So, because conflict can only arise from a conflict of two falsehoods, the sense of self, the "I" must also be false. This is not surprising when "I" is seen as a product of the environment.

So, you are seeking a means to overcome this environment. For the "I" to conquer the "outside". You do this by attempting to change the environment, or by self-expressing (art, economic adjustment, service to humanity), or creating religions.

There cannot be a perfect environment. Each person has his own idea of what this should be, so it cannot and will not happen. The only thing that can happen is the awakening of intelligence that would allow one to be free of an imperfect environment. Only by questioning the environment can you see that it is false and therefore be free of any environment.

to free the mind, there must be great intensity; there must be this continual alertness, observation, which creates conflict. this alertness itself creates a disturbance, and when there is that crisis, that intensity of conflict, then mind, if it is not escaping, begins to think anew, and that very thinking is eternity itself, ecstasy.

Memory
if my experiences and remembrances of the past are becoming hindrances in the present through their reaction, then i cannot comprehend or live fully, intensely, in the present. if you are aware of that hindrance, aware of it at its depth, not superficially, then the dormant subconscious memory, which is but the lack of understanding and incompleteness of living, disappears, and therefore, you meet each movement of environment, each swiftness of thought, anew.

Loss & Love
so long as there is loneliness, emptiness, insufficiency, which in its outer expression is dependence, there must be pain. and you cannot fill that insufficiency by overcoming obstacles, by substitutions, by escaping or accumulating, which is merely the cunning of the mind lost in the pursuit of gain. you will see how memory creates greater and greater dependence, the continual looking back to an event emotionally, to get a reaction from it, which prevents the full expression of intelligence in the present.

Love
Love is not identification; it is not thought about the loved. You do not think about love when it is there; you think about it only when it is absent, when there is distance between you and the object of your love. When there is direct communion, there is no thought, no image, no revival of memory; it is when the communion breaks, at any level, that the process of thought, of imagination, begins. Love is not of the mind. The mind makes the smoke of envy, of holding, of missing, of recalling the past, of longing for tomorrow, of sorrow and worry; and this effectively smothers the flame. When the smoke is not, the flame is. The two cannot exist together; the thought that they exist together is merely a wish. A wish is a projection of thought, and thought is not love.

Experiment
thinking and feeling without a search for a reward, a result, is true experiment. in real experiencing, real experimenting, there cannot be a search for result, because this experimenting is the movement of creative thought. to experiment, mind must be continually freeing itself from the environment with which it conflicts in its movement, the environment which we call the past.

Resolving Problems
So, the mere search for the solution of your problems is not going to free the mind from creating further problems. As long as this center of self-protectiveness, born of insufficiency, exists, there must be disturbances, tremendous sorrow, and pain; and you cannot free the mind of sorrow by disciplining it not to be insufficient. That is, you cannot discipline yourself, or be influenced by conditions and environment, in order not to be shallow. You say to yourself, "I am shallow; I recognize the fact, and how am I going to get rid of it?" I say, do not seek to get rid of it, which is merely a process of substitution, but become conscious, become aware of what is causing this insufficiency. You cannot compel it; you cannot force it; it cannot be influenced by an ideal, by a fear, by the pursuit of enjoyment and powers. You can find out the cause of insufficiency only through awareness. That is, by looking into environment and piercing into its significance there will be revealed the cunning subtleties of self-protection.